Over last couple of days I thought I was fine and moving forward... until tonight. I have my good days and I have my bad days, and although I do not fully understand why, I know it was for the best.
Last week Chris and I had a miscarriage. I wasn't pregnant long, but long enough to get all the same symptoms that I had with Logan. I was in the middle of week five when it happened. I guess if I'm going to have a miscarriage, earlier is better, right? We never got the positive sign back on the test, but like I said, I got every single pregnancy symptom you can think of. I wasn't myself either.
I'm fine when I don't hear about someone else's pregnancy or see pictures of little blessing being born. I'm not bitter, which I'm happy about, but I am sad. Chris and I have only told a select few about this, but I thought by me publicly announcing our news that would help my healing process more and acknowledge baby Heald number two.
We (I) wanted our pregnancy to be a surprise, so again we only told a select few that we were trying. We haven't been trying for very long, but a small part of me did think we get pregnant right away like we did the first time. I know that I have no control over what happens and I know that I will never be able to get an answer to my whys, but that doesn't stop me from continuing to ask.
I know our blog hasn't been filled with the most heart warming, great news lately, but well, that's life. We just have to remember to trust in God and know that He already has the right end to our story already written.
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